So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
