Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Im part way to drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
