I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
