I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
