brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
