Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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