If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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