and i looked up. we had an audience...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
