he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
