Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
