and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
