I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My ATM looks so different sober.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
