I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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