their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
