new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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