he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
