i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
