if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
