do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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