I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
