I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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