I smell stomach acid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
