you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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