Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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