it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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