babies were throwing up all over the place
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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