He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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