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Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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