garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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