Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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