Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
