remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
