Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
