I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
