He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
