Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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