OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize