That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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