Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
