Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
