Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
