Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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