We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
