Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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