HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
