Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want to make out with him forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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