You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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