I puked a lego.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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