It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I didn't notice because vodka
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
