I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
