There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I want to make a zoo with you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
