ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
