the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
