Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
