he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
