Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
