I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
