He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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